Sunday from the eyes of a preacher's wife

I am currently the pastor's wife of two churches.  Nothing about me screams pastor's wife, you wouldn't pass me on the street and whisper (she looks like a Bible thumping, christian)  even those in the church don't immediately hone in on me and think (yep she must be the preachers wife). 

 I break most the stereotypes;

 I don't sing in the choir, 

I don't wear dresses,

 I am not demure or reserved,

 I do not wear an overabundance of mascara (nod to Tammy Faye), 

My hair is not neatly in a bun at the nape of my neck,

Why then are there so many assumptions made about that title.  "Pastors wife"  My husband has a job just like millions of other Americans who are living the dream.  I heard it said that preachers live in glass houses- what does that mean?  Now that I am a pastors wife I completely understand.   It is like you are in public office however unlike the president/governor/mayor, you don't have a term of office then get to go back to some semblance of normalcy.  Pastors are in it for life.  I have had some of the most baffling things said to me/about me/behind my back.  Things that you wouldn't say to a stranger, people believe that they can say to a pastors wife.  Criticizing my husband, the way I am raising my children, my wardrobe (come on, I wore Apple Bottom jeans to church one time) the fact that I work outside the home and don't stay home to raise my children.  I have developed thick skin in my time as a pastors wife and have perfected the slight smile and caring gaze as people come up and speak their mind.  

One of the secret pleasures in my life is when my husband and I are in a new social situation where people don't know us, after small talk the eventual "so what do you do for a living?" comes up.  Just before my husband says "I am a pastor at a local church" I turn and look at the person whom we have just met.  The reaction is always priceless, as soon as the words leave his mouth and register in the person's mind a look of panic comes over them.  Shoot, what did I say to them?  Did I curse? Oh my gosh how can I get away quickly before they try and convert me?  What happens next varies a bit, it usually is some version of Oh wow, that is interesting, oh I think I see my wife/ father/ neighbor/ child/ second cousin/ co-worker/ lawyer/ lady that works at the pet shop/ the bathroom attendant, and they mumble it was nice to meet you and retreat as quickly as they came.  

When I am by myself I get a different version of this.

 You don't look like a preachers wife?  ( refer back to the beginning of this blog) 

Oh we would invite you to go dancing with us but you are a preachers wife so you probably wouldn't have a good time.  (is there a manual out there that I missed? )

Are you allowed to see that movie, you are a preachers wife. (again where is the manual on this stuff?)

This is one aspect of my life, but one that others place huge amounts of importance on.  Why this one title is more important than the thousands of others that I have will always remain a mystery.