I have officially had a Facebook page for 1 month. I have 74 friends and my beliefs about Facebook have changed numerous times.
I have successfully learned how to take pictures and post them
I have learned how to search for friends and add them
I have been amazed that people I have not talked to or thought about in well over a decade seem genuinely interested in me and how I am doing.
I still struggle with things to post
I have not gotten in the habit of checking it every day
I do like to see photo's of friends new and old however some have made Facebook their own photo album. Uploading 42 new pictures today, different than the 29 they uploaded yesterday.
Most of my family found me and sent me a friend request however some of my friends found me then proceeded to be mad at me that I wasn't friend requesting them.
I will never understand parts of Facebook but I think I will keep it.
I guess one month after drinking the Kool-aid that I am a convert. But just between you and me, I would choose this blog over Facebook any day!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Dynamics between men and women
Relationships between men and women are complicated. In grade school a push or shove meant I like you, in middle school it didn't matter if you liked someone you were two awkward to admit it and do anything about it. The term "do you like them or do you like-like them" came around which left tweens to ponder and assess the difference in like and like-like. There are the awkward school dances in which the gym is equally divided between boys and girls who desperately want someone to ask them but no one has the courage to walk across the floor and do it.
High school brings a new found flood of hormones and puberty which culminate in very awkward encounters with the opposite sex. Those who have not decided if they are into girls or boys have it even harder. Eventually relationships even out and a familiarity develops, a comfort level and with age brings the knowledge of who you are and what you like in the way of a partner. Adult relationships among opposite sex friends is a new level of complicated.
I grew up with guy friends, boys who were just that, friends. I dated boys who understood that and while they sized up my male friends, never took issue with it. Things changed when I put on a wedding ring, male/female relationships were no longer ok, or even tolerated. They were discouraged and I assumed that part of my life was over. I have since realized that there is something healthy about having the opposite sex friend to bounce ideas off of, joke with and enjoy spending time with. This is where gay men come in. The only truly accepted form of male/female friendship. Oh how I long to have a good gay male friend. The jealousy that arises is removed, the "gay friend" doesn't want what I have to offer. Somehow this becomes a safe or neutral zone. The problem is, I have not found the perfect gay guy friend. The giant "PREACHERS WIFE" label that I have tattooed on my forehead that makes people not want to dive in and see if it is a possibility.
I want to explore the "can men and women just be friends" issue. There are a vast majority of you that say NO, sex will always get in the way. I stand on the side of YES we can. I can only speak from my experiences and I have had successful male friends who never crossed the line ever. The argument of women are in control and men will go as far as the women will let them is valid. But when boundaries are established early on, there can be successful friendships for years. Now I will concede that infidelity rates continue to soar because boundaries grow fuzzy. That is a character flaw not a statement of fact. There will be times when either friend is vulnerable and the grass is always greener goggles are on. However in the same way spouses have moments where they cant stand each other, those moments pass and what drew you together in the first place restores to the forefront.
Before I get down off my soapbox, I would like to thank those men in my life who have been the example that my whole theory is based on, those men who pursued friendship with the integrity that I did. I thank you. To those men who pursued a friendship with the hopes of it leading to sex, jokes on you, I only have one man with whom I will ever have sex, my best friend, the man who I share my life with, my amazing husband!
High school brings a new found flood of hormones and puberty which culminate in very awkward encounters with the opposite sex. Those who have not decided if they are into girls or boys have it even harder. Eventually relationships even out and a familiarity develops, a comfort level and with age brings the knowledge of who you are and what you like in the way of a partner. Adult relationships among opposite sex friends is a new level of complicated.
I grew up with guy friends, boys who were just that, friends. I dated boys who understood that and while they sized up my male friends, never took issue with it. Things changed when I put on a wedding ring, male/female relationships were no longer ok, or even tolerated. They were discouraged and I assumed that part of my life was over. I have since realized that there is something healthy about having the opposite sex friend to bounce ideas off of, joke with and enjoy spending time with. This is where gay men come in. The only truly accepted form of male/female friendship. Oh how I long to have a good gay male friend. The jealousy that arises is removed, the "gay friend" doesn't want what I have to offer. Somehow this becomes a safe or neutral zone. The problem is, I have not found the perfect gay guy friend. The giant "PREACHERS WIFE" label that I have tattooed on my forehead that makes people not want to dive in and see if it is a possibility.
I want to explore the "can men and women just be friends" issue. There are a vast majority of you that say NO, sex will always get in the way. I stand on the side of YES we can. I can only speak from my experiences and I have had successful male friends who never crossed the line ever. The argument of women are in control and men will go as far as the women will let them is valid. But when boundaries are established early on, there can be successful friendships for years. Now I will concede that infidelity rates continue to soar because boundaries grow fuzzy. That is a character flaw not a statement of fact. There will be times when either friend is vulnerable and the grass is always greener goggles are on. However in the same way spouses have moments where they cant stand each other, those moments pass and what drew you together in the first place restores to the forefront.
Before I get down off my soapbox, I would like to thank those men in my life who have been the example that my whole theory is based on, those men who pursued friendship with the integrity that I did. I thank you. To those men who pursued a friendship with the hopes of it leading to sex, jokes on you, I only have one man with whom I will ever have sex, my best friend, the man who I share my life with, my amazing husband!
Friday, May 11, 2012
2 months
I have had this blog for 2 months. What have I learned in 2 months? That blogging gives the inner writer in me a chance to put pen to paper (so to speak). I enjoy my time I spend in solitude here, the rest of my life moves so quickly that when I get a chance to write, it is like a cup of soothing hot chocolate on a chilly winter night. Not necessarily needed but definitely enjoyed.
I will be going to South Africa in 2 months an I hope I get a chance to blog while I am there. Just the thought of writing while I am in such an exquisite land would be a dream! To see the stars from another perspective on the map, to hear the sounds of nature that otherwise I would never experience. To breathe in the richness of a culture that has not been drained the things that made it great. I long for my two weeks there.
I will be going to South Africa in 2 months an I hope I get a chance to blog while I am there. Just the thought of writing while I am in such an exquisite land would be a dream! To see the stars from another perspective on the map, to hear the sounds of nature that otherwise I would never experience. To breathe in the richness of a culture that has not been drained the things that made it great. I long for my two weeks there.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Antioxidant Experiment
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Kool-Aid update
Update on Facebook,
I now have 50 friends which is in my mind fairly decent for 1 week. The pressure to post photographs is driving me to distraction. I inwardly roll my eyes when people say "finally" you are on.
Most interesting development. One of my long time friends saw me and said, oh I heard you were on Facebook, I haven't been on mine in a while. I said, I am trying it out, look me up when you get back on. 5 days later her husband told me that she was very hurt that I had not friend requested her yet.
This brings me to a very interesting point. Back in middle school/junior high, it was all about being invited, the more people who invited you to parties the cooler you were. It had a very similar ring. This friend of mine clearly knew I was on Facebook and clearly looked enough to be aware that I had not friended her, but did not take the effort to click the button and friend me. Instead she was hurt that I had not friended her. So is there some kind of social status that goes along with being asked versus doing the asking? Does it really matter? Is there some kind of track record that say's you asked 24 people to be your friend but only 13 people requested your friendship? Does that ratio somehow make you less cool?
It was frustrating and confusing and definitely one more black mark on the Facebook con list. Well I am almost 1/3 of the way in to my experiment and my initial feelings are still the same.
The only redeeming quality is that I was able to see a new family member that I would have waited to see for 6 months. Able to tell his parents what a beautiful baby they had.
I now have 50 friends which is in my mind fairly decent for 1 week. The pressure to post photographs is driving me to distraction. I inwardly roll my eyes when people say "finally" you are on.
Most interesting development. One of my long time friends saw me and said, oh I heard you were on Facebook, I haven't been on mine in a while. I said, I am trying it out, look me up when you get back on. 5 days later her husband told me that she was very hurt that I had not friend requested her yet.
This brings me to a very interesting point. Back in middle school/junior high, it was all about being invited, the more people who invited you to parties the cooler you were. It had a very similar ring. This friend of mine clearly knew I was on Facebook and clearly looked enough to be aware that I had not friended her, but did not take the effort to click the button and friend me. Instead she was hurt that I had not friended her. So is there some kind of social status that goes along with being asked versus doing the asking? Does it really matter? Is there some kind of track record that say's you asked 24 people to be your friend but only 13 people requested your friendship? Does that ratio somehow make you less cool?
It was frustrating and confusing and definitely one more black mark on the Facebook con list. Well I am almost 1/3 of the way in to my experiment and my initial feelings are still the same.
The only redeeming quality is that I was able to see a new family member that I would have waited to see for 6 months. Able to tell his parents what a beautiful baby they had.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Introduction to Hockey
How did he get the name Hockey? Well we were told he was a girl so the kids probably named "her" Holly. One week later when we went to the vet, we got a lesson about the birds and the bee's and the cat education about our boy cat. Both kids burst into tears and begged me not to give him back. We agreed to keep him and promptly re-named him Hockey.
After one quick surgery that all responsible pet owners do, we had a family pet. He is an inside cat so the picture is one that we see often, longing to feel the grass on his paws, longing to chase a squirrel.
Welcome to the family Hockey!
3 days after drinking the Kool-Aid
I am 3 days into my experiment. Project Facebook. Here are my findings thus far.
day 1- sent 1 friend request and received 16 requests
day 2-sent 1 friend request and received 10 requests
day 3- sent no friend requests and received 7 requests
Interesting. . .
I have checked it each day and reset my privacy settings 3 times to get them right . (mildly annoying)
I had a dream last night in which Facebook came up (mildly annoying)
The first 16 friends were welcoming and "so glad you joined us" in nature (very sweet)
The next 17 seem to take the tone "finally! what took you so long" (extremely annoying)
I have one friend request from a person whom I do not know. Not sure what to do with that?
Have discovered 2 fringe friends (those whom I have not seen in over a decade who seem to post multiple times a day. (one is interesting and the other is mildly annoying)
Have discovered 2 different fringe friends who it was nice to reconnect with them however I don't know if I will want to keep up the relationship for any length of time. (jury is still out on this one)
Discovered messaging is the only way to talk privately (glad I didn't post anything scandalous in a reply to someone's post, that would have been embarrassing)
There does seem to be some pressure to post pictures (stressful)
***Most interesting discovery, those Facebook fanatics in my life almost seem annoyed to help me and usually just make me move and take over.
We shall see if this is worth continuing, in the 3 days I have thought of shutting it down 2 times. That does not seem like a promising start. But I made a commitment to try for a month so let the countdown continue.
day 1- sent 1 friend request and received 16 requests
day 2-sent 1 friend request and received 10 requests
day 3- sent no friend requests and received 7 requests
Interesting. . .
I have checked it each day and reset my privacy settings 3 times to get them right . (mildly annoying)
I had a dream last night in which Facebook came up (mildly annoying)
The first 16 friends were welcoming and "so glad you joined us" in nature (very sweet)
The next 17 seem to take the tone "finally! what took you so long" (extremely annoying)
I have one friend request from a person whom I do not know. Not sure what to do with that?
Have discovered 2 fringe friends (those whom I have not seen in over a decade who seem to post multiple times a day. (one is interesting and the other is mildly annoying)
Have discovered 2 different fringe friends who it was nice to reconnect with them however I don't know if I will want to keep up the relationship for any length of time. (jury is still out on this one)
Discovered messaging is the only way to talk privately (glad I didn't post anything scandalous in a reply to someone's post, that would have been embarrassing)
There does seem to be some pressure to post pictures (stressful)
***Most interesting discovery, those Facebook fanatics in my life almost seem annoyed to help me and usually just make me move and take over.
We shall see if this is worth continuing, in the 3 days I have thought of shutting it down 2 times. That does not seem like a promising start. But I made a commitment to try for a month so let the countdown continue.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Swimming in the social media pool
Well today is the day that I finally jumped into the social media pool. After years of hearing "you should really get Facebook", I finally did. It was an birthday present to myself, I had come to realize that the world is not going to start spinning backwards.
Letter writing has been replaced by email
Email has been replaced with texting
Texting has been replaced with Facebook posts.
My only hope of trying to stay connected to Tennessee is to hop on in the Facebook pool. I have to admit, signing up felt more like drinking the Kool-Aid. Not only do you have to provide information, you have to change every setting so that random strangers can't invade your world. It was exhausting. It is finally set up and I requested one friend. My best friend and roommate from college. The one who (unlike other friends) doesn't just assume that being friends with my husband on Facebook is enough connection to keep us together. So I friend requested her then proceeded to send her a text to see if I did it right. I didn't (big shock) I am beginning to be annoyed with it already!
I am going to give it a month. May is my birthday month so I will test the waters and see if at the end of 31 days I am diving into the Facebook pool head first or if I am still poking my big toe in the water to see if I can survive the temperature. I guess I should set some guidelines to see if the Facebook world is for me.
The average Facebook user statistics according to The Social Skinny states that
Americans long on for 1-30 minutes through out the day
Typical Facebook users have 130 friends
50% log on daily
So those will be my tests. At the end of May am I creeping up toward 130 friends, do I log on each day and spend between 1-30 minutes on Facebook. If not, then maybe the social media scene is not for me. We will see. . . .
Letter writing has been replaced by email
Email has been replaced with texting
Texting has been replaced with Facebook posts.
My only hope of trying to stay connected to Tennessee is to hop on in the Facebook pool. I have to admit, signing up felt more like drinking the Kool-Aid. Not only do you have to provide information, you have to change every setting so that random strangers can't invade your world. It was exhausting. It is finally set up and I requested one friend. My best friend and roommate from college. The one who (unlike other friends) doesn't just assume that being friends with my husband on Facebook is enough connection to keep us together. So I friend requested her then proceeded to send her a text to see if I did it right. I didn't (big shock) I am beginning to be annoyed with it already!
I am going to give it a month. May is my birthday month so I will test the waters and see if at the end of 31 days I am diving into the Facebook pool head first or if I am still poking my big toe in the water to see if I can survive the temperature. I guess I should set some guidelines to see if the Facebook world is for me.
The average Facebook user statistics according to The Social Skinny states that
Americans long on for 1-30 minutes through out the day
Typical Facebook users have 130 friends
50% log on daily
So those will be my tests. At the end of May am I creeping up toward 130 friends, do I log on each day and spend between 1-30 minutes on Facebook. If not, then maybe the social media scene is not for me. We will see. . . .
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