LGBTQIA

Recently I was made aware that I have started a new collection.  A very different kind of collection.  I have started collecting  friendships with lesbians.  Odd collection to have for several reasons.  First, collections of people are usually associated with serial killers and cannibals.  Second, typically the gay community does not have a great relationship with the church community.  Considering that I am a pastors wife people usually run from me assuming I will be all preachy or judgmental.   But I have gathered 4 friends who are giving me quite an education when it comes to matters of the heart.

I am not new to the gay community, several of my friends in college were gay, but I discovered that the gay community keeps straight people at arms length.  My experiences now are much more genuine.  I was given the book Stone Butch Blues, if you have never read it then pick up a copy.  Let me warn you, it is graphically brutal and exposes a side of law enforcement that I had no clue about.  Well lets be honest, in my Pollyana world, there are numerous things that I have very little clue about.  But now that I am well read and fairly comfortable in the gay world, I have taken a stand on the subject.

Lets start with LGBTQIA, for those of you who are unaware, let me save you a trip to google.
Lesbian
Gay/Gender queer
Bi-sexual
Transgender
Questioning/Queer
Inter-sexed
Asexual/Androgynous

What is with the ever growing list of labels?  There are so many pockets of labels, why do people want to section themselves off from the umbrella?  This has been explained to me but I can't quite get my mind around it.

My heart struggles to bring peace to the transgender world.  To believe you have been born into the wrong gender breaks my heart.  To have a menstrual cycle every month is just like a slap in the face reminder that things are off.  Of all the labels, this is where I feel the truest connection.  Maybe because it has less to do with whom you are attracted to and more to do with always feeling a disconnect when you look in the mirror.

Who you are attracted to is fascinating, I am a people watcher by nature and what attracts one human to another is a science that will never be mastered.  Being attracted to the same sex goes deeper than who you choose to kiss and sleep with.  Men's attraction to other men on a platonic level seems to be more an attraction to the power or influence the other man has.  Women's attraction to other women goes much deeper, beauty, poise and confidence are a few of the layers women are attracted to with other women.  These are also the things that propel women into jealousy and bring out the claws.  So with that philosophy comes the basic understanding of how same sex relationships go.  We seek out in others what we desire to have in ourselves.

The churches view on homosexuality has been clear since the bible was penned however the church of today is missing a huge opportunity to connect with people.  Why does one aspect of someone's life have to be the defining factor in their spiritual walk.  Does the bible put more weight on some sin than others? NO, lying ranks right up there with murder in the sin category.  The bible says that man should not lay with another man as one does with a woman, that is an abomination.  Well the bible also says you shouldn't have sex outside the bonds of marriage.  It also says if you look at a woman with lust in your heart you have already committed adultery.  So why is it that church people put so much more emphasis on that first bible verse than the last two?  I believe it is because people are scared and panicky of what they don't understand.   It is also easier to point fingers at someone else than deal with the things you struggle with.

The people who have shared their sexual orientation with me have taken a huge risk, knowing there is a good chance that I will pull out my bible and thump it at them spewing the venom that so many Christians do about how they are going straight to hell.  I respect the courage it takes to share something that is clearly going to bring about a strong reaction.  Unless I don't understand the term that your telling me or the category you have put yourself in, my reaction is usually uneventful.  One of the many facets of your life that make you someone that I would like to hang out with.

I feel that it is my responsibility to breakdown the hate and walls that have been built about the church.  Much as many of the gay community feel that it is there responsibility to educate the straight culture about them.  No they will not hit on you, nobody is going to try and convert you, AIDS is not a gay disease.  Once we can get past that, usually the friendship is free to bloom naturally.  So I encourage you Christians to break outside your holy huddle and get to know someone who might become a lifelong friend, and those of you in the gay community who have had horrible experiences with religious people, let me encourage you that we are not all like that, take another chance and see if there is a connection that might last a lifetime.